Kapiti Observer : January 9th 2012
14 KAPITI OBSERVER, JANUARY 9, 2012 ART AND ENTERTAINMENT SUPPORT EMS The next life they save could be YOURS THANK YOU TO ALL EMS SUPPORTERS There are 142 of you wonderful people, and your donations are invaluable towards keeping our Emergency Medical Services running. So far you have raised over $130,000. Well done!! We are so fortunate to have Dr Chris Lane as the Director. He is highly qualified in Trauma and medical. We cannot afford to lose this wonderful service which gives pre-hospital care, seven days a week. For those who would like to become a supporter,please do so.We need your help! Thank you again Yours sincerely Pat Steinmetz Please help EMS so they can help us ... BECOME AN EMS SUPPORTER NOW!! Select your small monthly or weekly amount - fill in your bank details, sign it and post this form to your bank. For more details contact Pat on email@example.com A small bank fee will apply on each transaction. Payment to Kapiti Emergency Medical Services Trust Options A: $10.00 a month ($120 per year) B: $5.00 a month ($60 per year) C: $10.00 a week ($520 per year) D: $5.00 a week ($260 per year) From:- Bank Account Name:........................................................................................... Bank Branch:.......................................................................................................... Account No: Option A, B, C or D: $.................... per week or $.................... per month Amount: $............................ Start Date:................................................ Number of Payments: ................... Paid to the Kapiti EMS Account at Westpac Bank, Paraparaumu Account No: Signature:............................................................ Sponsorship Account 030732 0278569 02 All donations will receive a receipt by mail at the end of the financial year Thanks for the fantastic support! I authorise my bank to forward my name & address details for receipt purposes tick ONE OFF DONATIONS are also greatly appreciated. Send them to: KEMS Trust, P. O. Box 1622, Paraparaumu Beach For further information go to: www.ems.org.nz This advertisement is sponsored by the Kapiti Observer 3763178AE Say what?: Author and language maestro Max Cryer's new book is a collection called Preposterous Proverbs, full of truisms such as ''Knowledge without wisdom isaloadof books on the back of an ass.'' Rudolf shown to be the deal breaker By LEE-ANNE EDWARDS A PREPOSTEROUS PROVERBS SAMPLE: Don't talk unless you can improve the silence. (United States) More people drown by drink than in water. (Scotland) Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. (Spain) A rich man and a spittoon get dirtier as they accumulate. (Japan) A lie can go around the world and back while truth is lacing up its boots. (Unknown, but pre-1859, when it was first acknowledged.) We can recognise the wisdom of proverbs such as a stitch in time saves nine'' and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'' as self-evident. But what should we make of sayings such as everything has an end, except a sausage, which has two'' and when the mistress is the master, the parsley grows the faster''? Broadcaster, producer, singer, author (Who Said that First?, The Godzone Dictionary) and nationally-recognised language maestro Max Cryer has recently put out a collection of such oddities. Preposterous Proverbs, sub- title Why fine words butter no parsnips, traces hundreds of more unusual proverbs down the ages, explaining why some that seem absurd at first make sense when you have the context or explanation; and presenting others that have become out- dated or are downright contra- dictory. As he told a Friends of Hutt City Libraries audience in Petone recently, the project has occupied his spare time for 18 months, in between his weekly radio sessions answering listeners' questions on words and language. It sent him delv- ing into the pages of a good number of the more than 200 reference books he has at home, chasing derivations and explanations. The result is a book to dip into and one that travels the world for its sources -- such as to Greece ( A thousand men cannot undress a naked man''), Japan ( Fools and scissors must be carefully handled''), Russia ( The more you sleep the less you sin'') and India ( A fat spouse is a quilt for the winter''). Mr Cryer said during his research, patterns began to emerge and chapters such as Birth'', Breeding'', Silence'', What makes a man?'', Mar- riage'' and Death'' suggested themselves. For a man who is two metres tall (6ft 5in), and who admits folding himself into some air- craft seats for a flight is a bothersome chore, he enjoyed the Tall or Short'' chapter. He says despite the lack of any scientific or sociological evi- dence either way, there is never- theless abundant wisdom'' about the perceived qualities of people according to their height. Wise words about being tall are fairly rare -- and curiously uncomplimentary,'' he writes. An ancient Hebrew proverb is: Tall men had ever empty heads''. In 1562, John Heywood stuck the knife into tall people with: Long be thy legs and short be thy life.'' Mr Cryer found more such examples through the ages and Sir Francis Bacon continued the theme in 1620, when King James I asked for his opinion of a new, and lanky, French ambassador. Bacon replied: Tall men are like houses of four or five storeys, wherein the upper room is the worst furnished.'' There are champions for the vertically challenged, with Men are not measured by inches'' and Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm'' (both from England), not to forget the old standby Good things can come in small packages''. But in one of many examples of fine old sayings added to (such as Absence makes the heart grow fonder . . . of some- one else''), there's Good things can come in small packages . . . so does poison''. Contradictions abound, even with our well-known proverbs, Mr Cryer says. Too many cooks spoil the broth'', but Many hands make light work.'' Slow and steady wins the race'', but Time waits for no man''. Some proverbs have become outdated because of changes in meaning and what's perceived as acceptable. An apple, an egg and a nut, you may eat after a slut'' sounds very strange, even rude, today but Mr Cryer says back in the day a slut was a dodgy housewife, someone who's kitchen was likely to be grubby''. The saying was merely pointing out that the insides of apples, eggs and nuts should be safe to eat even in such an environ- ment. A dog, a woman and a walnut tree, The more you beat them the better they be'' is definitely from a bygone era but Mr Cryer says it was a common practice to beat the bark of the walnut tree as it was known to promote growth. A key to whether a proverb or saying catches on may be its flow. I'm a great believer that what keeps something in your head in the English language is the rhythm involved,'' Mr Cryer says. His best example isn't a prov- erbbutapoem--andlatera song that sold millions of records. In 1939 producer Robert L May, desperate for money with a growing family, wrote a Christmas poem Reginald the Red Nosed Rein- deer. It was sent back to him. The publishers didn't like the name. He tried Rollo. Same reaction. His daughter, 9, said What about Rudolph?''. Pretty much overnight it got inside our heads.'' As someone who must have learned about diplomacy when dealing with big-name enter- tainers when he was contracted by the Government to direct all New Zealand entertainment for the World Expo 1988 (Brisbane) and 1992 (Seville), Mr Cryer had the answer for the woman in the Petone audience who grumbled the only proverb in his book she could find with a Maori link was that alternative to blowing one's own trumpet'', the kumara does not speak of its own sweetness''. Madam,'' he said, that's because the book is a collection of preposterous proverbs.'' Maori sayings must make good sense.
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